Too small of a niche
While helping our intern, Sarah Pellegrino, a rising sophomore at Indiana University, edit a column she is working on for our upcoming education special section, I realized something that I wish I had figured out six years ago, when I was just beginning my college career. No comments yet. You can be the first!
“I also realized that becoming involved in the Jewish life at Indiana can, in certain ways, restrict opportunities to meet other people,” Sarah writes in her rough draft. “The ultimate goal is to find a niche that’s right for you, where you can be comfortable and have support, but to remember not to limit yourself and have an open mind to others. Of course, this concept applies to almost any aspect of college life, whether it’s Greek life, academics or remembering to keep in touch with friends from high school.”
Oops.
There’s not much I regret from my college days. It probably goes without saying that I could have worked a little harder in a number of my classes, but the motto I lived by then -- and still agree with today -- is that 20 years from now I won’t look back and think, “I got an ‘A’ in my biology class.” Instead, I’ll say, “Look at all the great memories I have and the lifelong friends I made.” Mission accomplished.
Unfortunately, I can’t help but think that I became too comfortable in my niche -- as Sarah puts it -- or that my niche was too small.
I was a member of Alpha Epsilon Pi, a Jewish fraternity, and that was my niche. If I wanted to party, it was with those guys. If I wanted to participate in community service, it was through AEPi. Intramural sports? There was a Greek league. Even the girls I hung out with, for the most part, were part of my niche. There are not a large number of women on a typical college campus specifically trying to meet Jewish guys, but many who are frequent Jewish fraternities. And those were the girls I hung out with. I spent my last three semesters at school frustrated, wanting to meet new people, and I couldn’t figure out why it was so difficult.
I’m not trying to knock AEPi -- or any other Greek organizations for that matter -- my fraternity life was extremely beneficial to my college experience. Instead, I blame my inability to separate myself and reach outside of the bubble I had created. At times I tried, but not hard enough. My junior year I joined my school’s Relay for Life (a fundraising event that collects money for the American Cancer Society) steering committee, but quit because I had overcommitted myself with schoolwork and fraternity events. By the time my senior year rolled around, I had burned out on AEPi, but had left myself nowhere else to turn.
Looking back, I envy my friends who, in addition to Greek Life, involved themselves in other student groups, whether it was theater, community service, political affiliations, Jewish organizations -- pretty much anything. I mentioned before that I judge college on how many friends I made that I will keep for the rest of my life, and in that way, I was a success. But I can’t help but wonder, had I branched out, how much more of that success I might have attained.
24 Jun, 2009 >